It has been over 1626 years since the birth
of St. Patrick. His autobiographical confession was written
in
Latin, toward the end of his life. It is over 1500 years
old and
it is a miracle in itself that any of it has survived. It is
a very brief account of his life and some of it appears to
be
missing. Patrick believed that the end of the world would
come
with the evangelization of the Irish. They were the last
known
people to the ancient world, living in the uttermost part
of the
earth. We cannot be certain that the monks didn't
tamper with it as some of it appears to be missing. One
interesting fact is he never
mentions the virgin Mary, the Pope, Purgatory, Masses etc.
because they didn't exist at that time. In fact the
priests, bishops, etc., were, during Patrick's time allowed
to marry. Not one dogma of
the Roman church appears in his confession except maybe the
Trinity and the
Last Judgment.
Though quite long, here, in it's entirety, is the
The Confession of Saint Patrick
I, Patrick, a sinner, a most simple countryman,
the least of all the faithful and most contemptible to
many, had
for father the deacon Calpurnius, son of the late Potitus, a
presbyter, of the settlement of Bannaven Taburniae; he had a
small villa nearby where I was taken captive. I was at that
time
about sixteen years of age. I did not, indeed, know the
true God;
and I was taken into captivity in Ireland with many
thousands of
people, according to our deserts, for quite drawn away from
God,
we did not keep his precepts, nor were we obedient to our
presbyters who used to remind us of our salvation.
And the Lord
brought down on us the fury of his being and scattered us
among
many nations, even to the ends of the earth, where I, in my
smallness, am now to be found among foreigners. And there
the Lord opened my mind to an
awareness of my unbelief, in order that, even so late, I
might
remember my transgressions and turn with all my heart to
the Lord
my God, who had regard for my insignificance and pitied my
youth
and ignorance. And he watched over me before I knew him, and
before I learned sense or even distinguished between good
and
evil, and he protected me, and consoled me as a father
would his
son.
Therefore, indeed, I cannot keep silent, nor
would it be proper, so many favours and graces has the Lord
deigned to bestow on me in the land of my captivity. For
after
chastisement from God, and recognizing him, our way to
repay him
is to exalt him and confess his wonders before every nation
under
heaven:
For there is no other God, nor ever was
before, nor shall be hereafter, but God the Father,
unbegotten and without beginning, in whom all things began,
whose are all things, as we have been taught; and his son
Jesus Christ, who manifestly always existed with the Father,
before the beginning of time in the spirit with the Father,
indescribably begotten before all things, and all things
visible and invisible were made by him. He was made man,
conquered death and was received into Heaven, to the Father
who gave him all power over every name in Heaven and on
Earth
and in Hell, so that every tongue should confess that Jesus
Christ is Lord and God, in whom we believe. And we look to
his imminent coming again, the judge of the living and the
dead, who will render to each according to his deeds. And he
poured out his Holy Spirit on us in abundance, the gift and
pledge of immortality, which makes the believers and the
obedient into sons of God and co-heirs of Christ who is
revealed, and we worship one God in the Trinity of holy
name.
He himself said through the prophet: 'Call upon
me in the day of' trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall
glorify me.' And again: 'It is right to reveal and publish
abroad
the works of God.'
I am imperfect in many things, nevertheless I
want my brethren and kinsfolk to know my nature so that
they may
be able to perceive my soul's desire. I am not ignorant of
what is said of my Lord in
the Psalm: 'You destroy those who speak a lie.' And again:
'A
lying mouth deals death to the soul.' And likewise the Lord
says
in the Gospel: 'On the day of judgment men shall render
account
for every idle word they utter.' So it is that I should
mightily fear, with
terror and trembling, this judgment on the day when no one
shall
be able to steal away or hide, but each and all shall render
account for even our smallest sins before the judgment seat
of
Christ the Lord.
And therefore for some time I have thought of
writing, but I have hesitated until now, for truly, I
feared to
expose myself to the criticism of men, because I have not
studied
like others, who have assimilated both Law and the Holy
Scriptures equally and have never changed their idiom since
their
infancy, but instead were always learning it increasingly,
to
perfection, while my idiom and language have been
translated into
a foreign tongue. So it is easy to prove from a sample of my
writing, my ability in rhetoric and the extent of my
preparation
and knowledge, for as it is said, 'wisdom shall be
recognized in
speech, and in understanding, and in knowledge and in the
learning of truth.' But why make excuses close to the truth,
especially when now I am presuming to try to grasp in my
old age
what I did not gain in my youth because my sins prevented
me from
making what I had read my own?
But who will believe me, even
though I should say it again? A young man, almost a
beardless
boy, I was taken captive before I knew what I should desire
and
what I should shun. So, consequently, today I feel ashamed
and I
am mightily afraid to expose my ignorance, because, [not]
eloquent, with a small vocabulary, I am unable to explain
as the
spirit is eager to do and as the soul and the mind
indicate. But had it been given to me as to others, in
gratitude I should not have kept silent, and if it should
appear
that I put myself before others, with my ignorance and my
slower
speech, in truth, it is written: 'The tongue of the
stammerers
shall speak rapidly and distinctly.' How much harder must
we try
to attain it, we of whom it is said: 'You are an epistle of
Christ in greeting to the ends of the earth ... written on
your
hearts, not with ink but with the Spirit of the living
God.' And
again, the Spirit witnessed that the rustic life was
created by
the Most High. I am, then, first of all, countrified, an
exile, evidently unlearned, one who is not able to see into
the
future, but I know for certain, that before I was humbled I
was
like a stone lying in deep mire, and he that is mighty came
and
in his mercy raised me up and, indeed, lifted me high up and
placed me on top of the wall. And from there I ought to
shout out
in gratitude to the Lord for his great favours in this
world and
for ever, that the mind of man cannot measure.
Therefore be amazed, you great and small who
fear God, and you men of God, eloquent speakers, listen and
contemplate. Who was it summoned me, a fool, from the midst
of
those who appear wise and learned in the law and powerful in
rhetoric and in all things? Me, truly wretched in this
world, he
inspired before others that I could be-- if I would-- such
a one
who, with fear and reverence, and faithfully, without
complaint,
would come to the people to whom the love of Christ brought
me
and gave me in my lifetime, if I should be worthy, to serve
them
truly and with humility. According, therefore, to the
measure of one's
faith in the Trinity, one should proceed without holding
back
from danger to make known the gift of God and everlasting
consolation, to spread God's name everywhere with
confidence and
without fear, in order to leave behind, after my death,
foundations for my brethren and sons whom I baptized in the
Lord
in so many thousands. And I was not worthy, nor was I such
that the
Lord should grant his humble servant this, that after
hardships
and such great trials, after captivity, after many years, he
should give me so much favour with these people, a thing
which in
the time of my youth I neither hoped for nor imagined.
But after I reached Ireland I used to pasture
the flock each day and I used to pray many times a day.
More and
more did the love of God, and my fear of him and faith
increase,
and my spirit was moved so that in a day [I said] from one
up to
a hundred prayers, and in the night a like number; besides
I used
to stay out in the forests and on the mountain and I would
wake
up before daylight to pray in the snow, in icy coldness, in
rain,
and I used to feel neither ill nor any slothfulness,
because, as
I now see, the Spirit was burning in me at that time.
And it was there of course that one night in my
sleep I heard a voice saying to me: 'You do well to fast:
soon
you will depart for your home country.' And again, a very
short
time later, there was a voice prophesying: 'Behold, your
ship is
ready.' And it was not close by, but, as it happened, two
hundred
miles away, where I had never been nor knew any person. And
shortly thereafter I turned about and fled from the man
with whom
I had been for six years, and I came, by the power of God
who
directed my route to advantage (and I was afraid of
nothing),
until I reached that ship. And on the same day that I
arrived, the ship
was setting out from the place, and I said that I had not
the
wherewithal to sail with them; and the steersman was
displeased
and replied in anger, sharply: 'By no means attempt to go
with
us.' Hearing this I left them to go to the hut where I was
staying, and on the way I began to pray, and before the
prayer
was finished I heard one of them shouting loudly after me:
'Come
quickly because the men are calling you.' And immediately I
went
back to them and they started to say to me: 'Come, because
we are
admitting you out of good faith; make friendship with us in
any
way you wish.' (And so, on that day, I refused to suck the
breasts of these men from fear of God, but nevertheless I
had
hopes that they would come to faith in Jesus Christ,
because they
were barbarians.) And for this I continued with them, and
forthwith we put to sea. And after three days we reached
land, and for
twenty-eight days journeyed through uninhabited country,
and the
food ran out and hunger overtook them; and one day the
steersman
began saying: 'Why is it, Christian? You say your God is
great
and all-powerful; then why can you not pray for us? For we
may
perish of hunger; it is unlikely indeed that we shall ever
see
another human being.' In fact, I said to them, confidently:
'Be
converted by faith with all your heart to my Lord God,
because
nothing is impossible for him, so that today he will send
food
for you on your road, until you be sated, because
everywhere he
abounds.'
And with God's help this came to pass; and behold, a
herd of swine appeared on the road before our eyes, and
they slew
many of them, and remained there for two nights, and the
were
full of their meat and well restored, for many of them had
fainted and would otherwise have been left half dead by the
wayside. And after this they gave the utmost thanks to God,
and I
was esteemed in their eyes, and from that day they had food
abundantly. They discovered wild honey, besides, and they
offered
a share to me, and one of them said: 'It is a sacrifice.'
Thanks
be to God, I tasted none of it.
The very same night while I was sleeping Satan
attacked me violently, as I will remember as long as I
shall be
in this body; and there fell on top of me as it were, a huge
rock, and not one of my members had any force. But from
whence
did it come to me, ignorant in the spirit, to call upon
'Elijah'?
And meanwhile I saw the sun rising in the sky, and while I
was
crying out 'Elijah, Elijah' with all my might, lo, the
brilliance
of that sun fell upon me and immediately shook me free of
all the
weight; and I believe that I was aided by Christ my Lord,
and
that his Spirit then was crying out for me, and I hope that
it
will be so in the day of my affliction, just as it says in
the
Gospel: 'In that hour', the Lord declares, 'it is not you
who
speaks but the Spirit of your Father speaking in you.'
And a second time, after many years, I was
taken captive. On the first night I accordingly remained
with my
captors, but I heard a divine prophecy, saying to me: 'You
shall
be with them for two months. So it happened. On the sixtieth
night the Lord delivered me from their hands.On the journey
he provided us with food and
fire and dry weather every day, until on the tenth day we
came
upon people. As I mentioned above, we had journeyed through
an
unpopulated country for twenty-eight days, and in fact the
night
that we came upon people we had no food.
And after a few years I was again in Britain
with my parents [kinsfolk], and they welcomed me as a son,
and
asked me, in faith, that after the great tribulations I had
endured I should not go any where else away from them. And,
of
course, there, in a vision of the night, I saw a man whose
name
was Victoricus coming as if from Ireland with innumerable
letters, and he gave me one of them, and I read the
beginning of
the letter: 'The Voice of the Irish', and as I was reading
the
beginning of the letter I seemed at that moment to hear the
voice
of those who were beside the forest of Foclut which is near
the
western sea, and the were crying as if with one voice:
'We beg
you, holy youth, that you shall come and shall walk again
among
us.'
And I was stung intensely in my heart so that I could read
no more, and thus I awoke. Thanks be to God, because after
so
many years the Lord bestowed on them according to their
cry. And another night-- God knows, I do not,
whether within me or beside me-- ... most words + ... +
which I
heard and could not understand, except at the end of the
speech
it was represented thus: 'He who gave his life for you, he
it is
who speaks within you.' And thus I awoke, joyful. And on a
second occasion I saw Him praying
within me, and I was as it were, inside my own body , and I
heard
Him above me-- that is, above my inner self. He was praying
powerfully with sighs. And in the course of this I was
astonished
and wondering, and I pondered who it could be who was
praying
within me. But at the end of the prayer it was revealed to
me
that it was the Spirit. And so I awoke and remembered the
Apostle's words: 'Likewise the Spirit helps us in our
weakness;
for we know not how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit
Himself
intercedes for us with sighs too deep for utterance.' And
again:
'The Lord our advocate intercedes for us.' And then I was
attacked by a goodly number of
my , who [brought up] my sins against my arduous
episcopate.
That day in particular I was mightily upset, and
might have fallen here and for ever; but the Lord generously
spared me, a convert, and an alien, for his name's sake,
and he
came powerfully to my assistance in that state of being
trampled
down. I pray God that it shall not be held against them as
a sin
that I fell truly into disgrace and scandal.
They brought up against me after thirty years
an occurrence I had confessed before becoming a deacon. On
account of the anxiety in my sorrowful mind, I laid before
my
close friend what I had perpetrated on a day-- nay, rather
in one
hour-- in my boyhood because I was not yet proof against
sin. God
knows-- I do not-- whether I was fifteen years old at the
time,
and I did not then believe in the living God, nor had I
believed,
since my infancy; but I remained in death and unbelief
until I
was severely rebuked, and in truth I was humbled every day
by
hunger and nakedness. On the other hand, I did not proceed
to Ireland
of my own accord until I was almost giving up, but through
this I
was corrected by the Lord, and he prepared me so that today
I
should be what was once far from me, in order that I should
have
the care of-- or rather, I should be concerned for-- the
salvation of others, when at that time, still, I was only
concerned for myself.
Therefore, on that day when I was rebuked, as I
have just mentioned, I saw in a vision of the night a
document
before my face, without honour, and meanwhile I heard a
divine
prophecy, saying to me: 'We have seen with displeasure the
face
of the chosen one divested of [his good] name.' And he did
not
say 'You have seen with displeasure', but 'We have seen with
displeasure' (as if He included Himself) . He said then:
'He who
touches you, touches the apple of my eye.' For that reason,
I give thanks to him who
strengthened me in all things, so that I should not be
hindered
in my setting out and also in my work which I was taught by
Christ my Lord; but more, from that state of affairs I felt,
within me, no little courage, and vindicated my faith
before God
and man. Hence, therefore, I say boldly that my
conscience is clear now and hereafter. God is my witness
that I
have not lied in these words to you. But rather, I am
grieved for my very close
friend, that because of him we deserved to hear such a
prophecy.
The one to whom I entrusted my soul! And I found out from a
goodly number of brethren, before the case was made in my
defense
(in which I did not take part, nor was I in Britain, nor
was it
pleaded by me), that in my absence he would fight in my
behalf.
Besides, he told me himself: 'See, the rank of bishop goes
to
you'-- of which I was not worthy. But how did it come to
him,
shortly afterwards, to disgrace me publicly, in the
presence of
all, good and bad, because previously, gladly and of his
own free
will, he pardoned me, as did the Lord, who is greater than
all? I have said enough.
But all the same, I ought
not to conceal God's gift which he lavished on us in the
land of
my captivity, for then I sought him resolutely, and I found
him
there, and he preserved me from all evils (as I believe)
through
the in-dwelling of his Spirit, which works in me to this
day.
Again, boldly, but God knows, if this had been made known
to me
by man, I might, perhaps, have kept silent for the love of
Christ.
Thus I give untiring thanks to God who kept me
faithful in the day of my temptation, so that today I may
confidently offer my soul as a living sacrifice for Christ
my
Lord; who am I, Lord? or, rather, what is my calling? that
you
appeared to me in so great a divine quality, so that today
among
the barbarians I might constantly exalt and magnify your
name in
whatever place I should be, and not only in good fortune,
but
even in affliction? So that whatever befalls me, be it good
or
bad, I should accept it equally, and give thanks always to
God
who revealed to me that I might trust in him, implicitly and
forever, and who will encourage me so that, ignorant, and
in the
last days, I may dare to undertake so devout and so
wonderful a
work; so that I might imitate one of those whom, once, long
ago,
the Lord already pre-ordained to be heralds of his Gospel to
witness to all peoples to the ends of the earth.
So are we
seeing, and so it is fulfilled; behold, we are witnesses
because
the Gospel has been preached as far as the places beyond
which no
man lives.
But it is tedious to describe in detail all my
labours one by one. I will tell briefly how most holy God
frequently delivered me, from slavery, and from the twelve
trials
with which my soul was threatened, from man traps as well,
and
from things I am not able to put into words. I would not
cause
offense to readers, but I have God as witness who knew all
things
even before they happened, that, though I was a poor
ignorant
waif, still he gave me abundant warnings through divine
prophecy.
Whence came to me this wisdom which was not my
own, I who neither knew the number of days nor had
knowledge of
God? Whence came the so great and so healthful gift of
knowing or
rather loving God, though I should lose homeland and
family. And many gifts were offered to me with weeping
and tears, and I offended them [the donors], and also went
against the wishes of a good number of my elders; but
guided by
God, I neither agreed with them nor deferred to them, not
by my
own grace but by God who is victorious in me and withstands
them
all, so that I might come to the Irish people to preach the
Gospel and endure insults from unbelievers; that I might
hear
scandal of my travels, and endure many persecutions to the
extent
of prison; and so that I might give up my free birthright
for the
advantage of others, and if I should be worthy, I am ready
[to
give] even my life without hesitation; and most willingly
for His
name. And I choose to devote it to him even unto death, if
God
grant it to me.
I am greatly God's debtor, because he granted
me so much grace, that through me many people would be
reborn in
God, and soon after confirmed, and that clergy would be
ordained
everywhere for them, the masses lately come to belief, whom
the
Lord drew from the ends of the earth, just as he once
promised
through his prophets: 'To you shall the nations come from
the
ends of the earth, and shall say, Our fathers have inherited
naught but lies, worthless things in which there is no
profit.'
And again: 'I have set you to be a light for the Gentiles
that
you may bring salvation to the uttermost ends of' the
earth.' And I wish to wait then for his promise which
is never unfulfilled, just as it is promised in the Gospel:
'Many
shall come from east and west and shall sit at table with
Abraham
and Isaac and Jacob.' Just as we believe that believers
will come
from all the world. So for that reason one should, in fact,
fish
well and diligently, just as the Lord foretells and teaches,
saying, 'Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men,' and
again through the prophets: 'Behold, I am sending forth many
fishers and hunters, says the Lord,' et cetera. So it
behooved us
to spread our nets, that a vast multitude and throng might
be
caught for God, and so there might be clergy everywhere who
baptized and exhorted a needy and desirous people. Just as
the
Lord says in the Gospel, admonishing and instructing: 'Go
therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them
in
the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy
Spirit,
teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you; and
lo, I
am with you always to the end of time.' And again he says:
'Go
forth into the world and preach the Gospel to all creation.
He
who believes and is baptized shall be saved; but he who
does not
believe shall be condemned.' And again: 'This Gospel of the
Kingdom shall be preached throughout the whole world as a
witness
to all nations; and then the end of the world shall come.'
And
likewise the Lord foretells through the prophet: 'And it
shall
come to pass in the last days (sayeth the Lord) that I will
pour
out my spirit upon all flesh, and your sons and daughters
shall
prophesy, and your young men shall see visions and your old
men
shall dream dreams; yea, and on my menservants and my
maidservants in those days I will pour out my Spirit and
they
shall prophesy.' And in Hosea he says: 'Those who are not my
people I will call my people, and those not beloved I will
call
my beloved, and in the very place where it was said to
them, You
are not my people, they will be called 'Sons of the living
God'.
So, how is it that in Ireland, where they never
had any knowledge of God but, always, until now, cherished
idols
and unclean things, they are lately become a people of the
Lord,
and are called children of God; the sons of the Irish
[Scotti]
and the daughters of the chieftains are to be seen as monks
and
virgins of Christ.
And there was, besides, a most beautiful,
blessed, native-born noble Irish [Scotta] woman of adult
age whom
I baptized; and a few days later she had reason to come to
us to
intimate that she had received a prophecy from a divine
messenger
[who] advised her that she should become a virgin of Christ
and
she would draw nearer to God. Thanks be to God, six days
from
then, opportunely and most eagerly, she took the course
that all
virgins of God take, not with their fathers' consent but
enduring
the persecutions and deceitful hindrances of their parents.
Notwithstanding that, their number increases, (we do not
know the
number of them that are so reborn) besides the widows, and
those
who practice self-denial. Those who are kept in slavery
suffer
the most. They endure terrors and constant threats, but the
Lord
has given grace to many of his handmaidens, for even though
they
are forbidden to do so, still they resolutely follow his
example.
So it is that even if I should wish to separate
from them in order to go to Britain, and most willingly was
I
prepared to go to my homeland and kinsfolk-- and not only
there,
but as far as Gaul to visit the brethren there, so that I
might
see the faces of the holy ones of my Lord, God knows how
strongly
I desired this-- I am bound by the Spirit, who witnessed to
me
that if I did so he would mark me out as guilty, and I fear
to
waste the labour that I began, and not I, but Christ the
Lord,
who commanded me to come to be with them for the rest of my
life,
if the Lord shall will it and shield me from every evil, so
that
I may not sin before him.
So I hope that I did as I ought, but I do not
trust myself as long as I am in this mortal body, for he is
strong who strives daily to turn me away from the faith and
true
holiness to which I aspire until the end of my life for
Christ my
Lord, but the hostile flesh is always dragging one down to
death,
that is, to unlawful attractions. And I know in part why I
did
not lead a perfect life like other believers, but I confess
to my
Lord and do not blush in his sight, because I am not lying;
from
the time when I came to know him in my youth, the love of
God and
fear of him increased in me, and right up until now, by
God's
favour, I have kept the faith.
What is more, let anyone laugh and taunt if he
so wishes. I am not keeping silent, nor am I hiding the
signs and
wonders that were shown to me by the Lord many years before
they
happened, [he] who knew everything, even before the
beginning of
time. Thus, I should give thanks unceasingly to God,
who frequently forgave my folly and my negligence, in more
than
one instance so as not to be violently angry with me, who am
placed as his helper, and I did not easily assent to what
had
been revealed to me, as the Spirit was urging; and the Lord
took
pity on me thousands upon thousands of times, because he saw
within me that I was prepared, but that I was ignorant of
what to
do in view of my situation; because many were trying to
prevent
this mission. They were talking among themselves behind my
back,
and saying: 'Why is this fellow throwing himself into danger
among enemies who know not God?' Not from malice, but
having no
liking for it; likewise, as I myself can testify, they
perceived
my rusticity. And I was not quick to recognize the grace
that was
then in me; I now know that I should have done so earlier.
Now I have put it frankly to my brethren and
co-workers, who have believed me because of what I have
foretold
and still foretell to strengthen and reinforce your faith.
I wish
only that you, too, would make greater and better efforts.
This
will be my pride, for 'a wise son makes a proud father'.
You know, as God does, how I went about among
you from my youth in the faith of truth and in sincerity of
heart. As well as to the heathen among whom I live, I have
shown
them trust and always show them trust. God knows I did not
cheat
any one of them, nor consider it, for the sake of God and
his
Church, lest I arouse them and [bring about] persecution
for them
and for all of us, and lest the Lord's name be blasphemed
because
of me, for it is written: 'Woe to the men through whom the
name
of the Lord is blasphemed.' For even though I am ignorant
in all things,
nevertheless I attempted to safeguard some and myself also.
And I
gave back again to my Christian brethren and the virgins of
Christ and the holy women the small unasked for gifts that
they
used to give me or some of their ornaments which they used
to
throw on the altar. And they would be offended with me
because I
did this. But in the hope of eternity, I safeguarded myself
carefully in all things, so that they might not cheat me of
my
office of service on any pretext of dishonesty, and so that
I
should not in the smallest way provide any occasion for
defamation or disparagement on the part of unbelievers.
What is more, when I baptized so many thousands
of people, did I hope for even half a jot from any of them?
[If
so] Tell me, and I will give it back to you. And when the
Lord
ordained clergy everywhere by my humble means, and I freely
conferred office on them, if I asked any of them anywhere
even
for the price of one shoe, say so to my face and I will
give it
back.
More, I spent for you so that they would
receive me. And I went about among you, and everywhere for
your
sake, in danger, and as far as the outermost regions beyond
which
no one lived, and where no one had ever penetrated before,
to
baptize or to ordain clergy or to confirm people.
Conscientiously
and gladly I did all this work by God's gift for your
salvation.
From time to time I gave rewards to the kings,
as well as making payments to their sons who travel with me;
notwithstanding which, they seized me with my companions,
and
that day most avidly desired to kill me. But my time had
not yet
come. They plundered everything they found on us anyway, and
fettered me in irons; and on the fourteenth day the Lord
freed me
from their power, and whatever they had of ours was given
back to
us for the sake of God on account of the indispensable
friends
whom we had made before.
Also you know from experience how much I was
paying to those who were administering justice in all the
regions, which I visited often. I estimate truly that I
distributed to them not less than the price of fifteen men,
in
order that you should enjoy my company and I enjoy yours,
always,
in God. I do not regret this nor do I regard it as enough.
I am
paying out still and I shall pay out more.
The Lord has the power
to grant me that I may soon spend my own self, for your
souls. Behold, I call on God as my witness upon my
soul that I am not lying; nor would I write to you for it
to be
an occasion for flattery or selfishness, nor hoping for
honour
from any one of you. Sufficient is the honour which is not
yet
seen, but in which the heart has confidence. He who made the
promise is faithful; he never lies.
But I see that even here and now, I have been
exalted beyond measure by the Lord, and I was not worthy
that he
should grant me this, while I know most certainly that
poverty
and failure suit me better than wealth and delight (but
Christ
the Lord was poor for our sakes; I certainly am wretched and
unfortunate; even if I wanted wealth I have no resources,
nor is
it my own estimation of myself, for daily I expect to be
murdered
or betrayed or reduced to slavery if the occasion arises.
But I
fear nothing, because of the promises of Heaven; for I have
cast
myself into the hands of Almighty God, who reigns
everywhere. As
the prophet says: 'Cast your burden on the Lord and he will
sustain you.' Behold now I commend my soul to God who is
most
faithful and for whom I perform my mission in obscurity,
but he
is no respecter of persons and he chose me for this service
that
I might be one of the least of his ministers. For which
reason I should make return for all
that he returns me.
But what should I say, or what should I
promise to my Lord, for I, alone, can do nothing unless he
himself vouchsafe it to me. But let him search my heart and
[my]
nature, for I crave enough for it, even too much, and I am
ready
for him to grant me that I drink of his chalice, as he has
granted to others who love him. Therefore may it never
befall me to be
separated by my God from his people whom he has won in this
most
remote land. I pray God that he gives me perseverance, and
that
he will deign that I should be a faithful witness for his
sake
right up to the time of my passing.
And if at any time I managed anything of good
for the sake of my God whom I love, I beg of him that he
grant it
to me to shed my blood for his name with proselytes and
captives,
even should I be left unburied, or even were my wretched
body to
be torn limb from limb by dogs or savage beasts, or were it
to be
devoured by the birds of the air, I think, most surely,
were this
to have happened to me, I had saved both my soul and my
body.
For
beyond any doubt on that day we shall rise again in the
brightness of the sun, that is, in the glory of Christ
Jesus our
Redeemer, as children of the living God and co-heirs of
Christ,
made in his image; for we shall reign through him and for
him and
in him.
For the sun we see rises each day for us at
[his] command, but it will never reign, neither will its
splendor
last, but all who worship it will come wretchedly to
punishment.
We, on the other hand, shall not die, who believe in and
worship
the true sun, Christ, who will never die, no more shall he
die
who has done Christ's will, but will abide for ever just as
Christ abides for ever, who reigns with God the Father
Almighty
and with the Holy Spirit before the beginning of time and
now and
for ever and ever. Amen.
Behold over and over again I would briefly set
out the words of my confession. I testify in truthfulness
and
gladness of heart before God and his holy angels that I
never had
any reason, except the Gospel and his promises, ever to have
returned to that nation from which I had previously escaped
with
difficulty. But I entreat those who believe in and fear
God, whoever deigns to examine or receive this document
composed
by the obviously unlearned sinner Patrick in Ireland, that
nobody
shall ever ascribe to my ignorance any trivial thing that I
achieved or may have expounded that was pleasing to God, but
accept and truly believe that it would have been the gift
of God.
And this is my confession before I die.